There are two statements I make that some people take personally statements that they feel are demeaning and insensitive to women who have lived in domestic abuse.
The statements are: “If we don’t change, nothing changes” and “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.” A third one attracted the ire of a couple of my community members, too: “You don’t attract who you want. You attract who you are.”
Each of those statements addresses victims of domestic abuse. The people who attack those statements feel that they are blaming victims, saying they are responsible for being in abusive situations, want to be abuse, or somehow deserving.
I use my own experience in this podcast to explain my position and opinion. Like most victims of domestic abuse, I was conditioned as a kid to accept negative behavior by males as acceptable, OK, my lot in life. Not because an adult was abusive. Because my brothers were dyslexic and were allowed to behave unacceptably. My sisters and I were taught to accept the boy’s negative behavior. That led to abusive marriages for me and every one of my sisters.
Sound far fetched to you? Listen and tell me what you think.
I am Mickie Zada, the CEO of Surviving Abuse Network. Please check out my web site at www.SurvivingAbuseNetwork.com