Happiness, which is part of our daily reality, is a choice.  When I think about it, we breathe without any thought or effort…our bodies simply do what needs to be done to keep us alive (which is not simple, really…everything our bodies do is very complicated…my point is, we don’t generally control breathing, it’s taken care of for us without thought)

Our emotions aren’t like that.  We control our emotions.  The unfortunate thing is that we can’t control anyone else’s emotions; Just our own.  That’s our only responsibility…our own emotions.

Sometimes we think we are responsible for other people’s feelings.  Sometimes we think it’s our responsibility to be sure everyone has what they need and is happy. Certainly, when little children are in our care, we have a responsibility to see that they have what they need, physically and emotionally, to be happy, to thrive in life.  Not so much with adults…even when the adults used to be our little children.  Especially when the adult is an abusive partner.

People who control and verbally abuse others are outstanding manipulators and connivers.  They are skilled at turning our words and actions against us.  They have Ph.D. degrees in blame, guilt and shifting responsibility.  They often condition us to believe we are responsible for their happiness.

The choice to be happy is an inside job for each person.  You are responsible for your own happiness; Each adult is responsible for his or hers.  If your partner’s happiness is founded in making you feel horrible, that’s not OK.  Living in such dangerous conditions also erodes your personal value, worth … and happiness.

No matter our situation, we have a choice to be happy.

Decide today that you will find at least one thing to smile about.   On the way to work you see the cutest baby…smile.  When you walk out the door in the morning or look out in the evening and see sky-blue-pink in the horizon…smile.  Notice the skillion shades of green in the spring or bright white snow hanging on bare branches in the winter…smile.

The more often we pay attention to the beauty around us, the more we appreciate the small things right outside our doors, the more happiness we will feel.

  • The more often you feel happy and smile, the better you’ll feel about yourself.
  • The better you feel about yourself, the more confidence you’ll gain.
  • The more confidence you gain, more and more doors will open to take you where you want to go in life.

Before long you will realize and accept that it’s a choice to be happy…and then everything will change.

All this good stuff can start with one little smile at a baby, at the sunrise, at a flower along the road or a beautiful cat or dog.  Smile at the little things in your life and it will become a habit. It’s a physical and psychological change in your mind and in your body.

Like change, happiness is an inside job.  Make the choice to be happy. Start today!