Author of “Better Than I Ever Expected”, Joan Price, said “I became invisible. I still met interesting men but they would look over my head at the young, fertile women behind me. After a few years of that, women tend to think “Well, it’s over” I wasn’t resigned to that but I was considering it”.
I completely relate to Joan’s description. At 65, while spouting loudly that I’d never get married again, I secretly wanted to be in love, to have a committed relationship, to feel cherished and adored. Saying I didn’t want to be married was a safety net…in case it really never did happen again.
But, it did! Alan was my first love, we dated when I was 15 and he was 16. I held on to him in my heart over the years. Then he showed up in my life…against all odds.
The trend in marriage over 50 is to avoid it. One in three Baby Boomers is unmarried and of that number 58% are divorced and 32% have never been married, according to analysis of 2009 data by the Department of Sociology at Bowling Green State University.
Conventional wisdom holds that love and lust only happen to 20-soemtings, many singles find, like I did, The One well into their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond.
Marriage over 50 is a different animal than marriage as young people. Over 50 we are more independent, we most likely have more assets, we may be more set in our ways and be less flexible…you do things the way you do things and you often have a sense that the way you do things is the right way!
In deciding to get married this week, I considered so many things including health, signing a pre-nup, sharing finances and the kitchen, “the odds”, the risks.
I decided that things will work out. Not a la-de-dah, things will work out, but a realistic decision that when problems do arise we’ll work them out. I’m wiser now, and so is he. I’m more experienced now, and so is he. I’m less quick to get angry, I don’t hold grudges.
Yes, later in age marriage has its drawbacks and its challenges. So does living alone. I choose to share my Life.
So, we are on to another Great Adventure!