Viktor Frankl, M.D., Ph.D., in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, wrote “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

What does that statement tell us?

We have the power to choose our response in any situation.

If you are working at a job that no longer challenges you or does not feed your creativity, you have the choice to make a change. Don’t panic! I’m not going to say quit your job.

That change may be asking for a transfer, asking to be assigned jobs that you enjoy and that will create a win-win for you and your employer because your value to them will increase. If a co-worker is difficult, ask for a different desk.

Rather than be angry and sullen, choose a different response.

In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Many of us have endured long term marriages that have gone from bad to worse. We have learned, over the years, how to adapt to dissatisfaction, unhappy days and evenings, and even dangerous moods or mood swings.

Creating a gap in these situations are sometimes more difficult but still viable and necessary. Often fear of loss keeps us complacent and repeating the same unhealthy reactions to negative stimulus.

“Yes, the marriage is bad, but I live in a nice house and drive a good car. Could I maintain this lifestyle on my own?” Does that statement sound familiar?

Maybe leaving the marriage isn’t the only option. How about, instead of getting pulled into the same arguments and saying the same things… how about changing the game? How about saying , in a calm and loving voice, “We’ve been down this road so many times. Will you please go with me to a counselor so we can learn a new way to resolve this issue?”

Let me tell you this. IF you are afraid to make that statement, because you KNOW the violent reaction you’ll receive, it’s time for a big change. No one deserves to live in a violent or dangerous situation.

Creating a gap essentially requires stepping back…a gap can be a nano-second or a couple of days long. However long it takes for you to create a different perspective, which creates a different response.

You may learn more about creating a gap and changing your response to old stimuli through a group called “Discovering Hidden Wings”. A cohesive group of not more than 10 like-minded women share their life stories and stresses in the process of re-inventing their lives; creating a happy and healthy next chapter of their lives and supporting the group to do the same. Check it out at