Odds are good that you have heard these Top 10 Lessons but, as a survivor of abuse, they are all buried. Our old buddy, Fear, has over-ridden putting them into practice, even in your new life.
Even if you’ve been out of domestic abuse for decades, I bet you are still being held hostage, in your head, by your abuser. There are thoughts and experiences that bring back that empty feeling in your stomach, make your heart race and cause the familiar burning dread of fear and guilt in our hearts and minds.
The number of American troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488. The number of American women who were murdered by current or ex male partners during the same time was 11,766. That’s nearly double the amount of casualties lost during war. http://bit.ly/2jc1N8x
Join the conversation: Domestic Abuse is real and we don’t have to live with it! Surviving Abuse Network is one place for you to participate with a sisterhood of domestic abuse survivors. Together we will make a difference. #1in4domesticabuse https://www.facebook.com/Surviving-Abuse-Network-137284130241322/
Because society does not want to question the Father figure, the Authority figure. If Authority is questioned, the implication is that we are ALL just poor, weak human beings. Nope, can’t let that happen!
It’s the holiday season, right? And, the best way to resolve frustration, loneliness, anger, distress … holiday blues? Eat.
In “Eat, Pray and Love Yourself” Mickie tells an embarrassing story about the power of a box of chocolates had over her!
This time of year,
Since you left your abusive relationship, do your friends and family think you may have lost your mind? You had it all, right? Nice home, strong businesses, important jobs, a good relationship…well, that’s what it looked like.
He was kind and caring, and then he turned mean and violent. He told me it was my fault he got so angry. I believed him for the longest time. I believed he wanted to change. If you are a survivor of abuse, you have experienced all those emotions and beliefs.
Somewhere in the recesses of our minds we feel guilty for having left our abuser…on some level you still love him; (even years later) you wonder how he’s doing.
We’re barreling toward another holiday season, and it’s easy to excavate only the good memories.
Would you tell a friend that it’s OK to be controlled by her husband, to be thrown against a wall, to cover bruises with make-up and long sleeves, to walk back into abuse again and again and again?
We rationalize until we can’t rationalize anymore. Sound familiar? If you’ve ever lived in abuse, you comprehend the reality of that statement. Mickie shares the story of an abused woman as reported to Huffington Post. It’s not Mickie’s story, it is Jessica’s; a woman whom, we hope, did the in-side work necessary to stay out of abusive relationships.
Our brains process 12,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day. Our conscious mind processes 40 bits of information per second; our subconscious mind processes 40 Million bits of information per second! Mickie provides ideas and a fun experiment to learn how to be aware of your thoughts, and how to choose the ones that support your growth, safety and sanity.
Abuse survivor and author, Amber Castleman, speaks her truth in this candid discussion with Mickie. Her new book His Love Hurts; How to Break Free from Your Abuser, and this open conversation with Surviving Abuse Podcast, chronicle Amber’s turbulent and seemingly helpless journey into, through and out of an abusive marriage
Mickie shares an anonymous story she found on line, a fabulous description of the emotions created by living in abuse, finally accepting the reality of the situation and the danger, emotion, and freedom of escaping.
Everyone knows time is Money. I say time is Life. Mickie lived in abuse for 34 years. She “spent” a lot of her precious time living in fear and control; precisely 408 months, 1,768 weeks, 12,410 days! Even though it often feels this way, how we choose to use our time is not out of our control.
Mickie discovered an on-line list and description of emotions experienced by abused women. The information was created by Rape and Abuse Crisis Center and, along with their descriptions, Mickie adds her personal experiences and feelings associated with each emotion.
For a little more than two years Mickie Zada consistently created weekly podcasts titled “The Second 53 Years” and “Figuring It Out After 50”. Since deciding to take her podcasts and business in the direction of addressing domestic abuse, “it’s been a while” since she’s consistently recorded podcasts.
Listen to Patsy Wimmer’s story of making some mistakes in her youth that led her into the arms of an abusive husband. Learn why she stayed for so long and what the final act was that caused her to say “No more!”. Learn how she got out and ended up making it on her own and eventually reconciling with her children!
I had a life changing experience this past week. I was in a situation where I was forced to confront my resistance to talking about domestic abuse and my past. My gut reaction actually surprised me. Could I really still have that much resistance to talking about my own past?
You know where I mean…that spot that you hold so lovingly in a deep corner of your imagination, that some would call only a dream. It’s where you dreamed that your mean parents, who made you obey rules and go to bed early, turned out to be your Adoptive Parents.
I’m a risk taker. Not risk like jumping out of planes or hang gliding off Grandfather Mountain. Nope, not me. I take risks like becoming an entrepreneur, putting ideas out there that might be laughed sneered at or recording live videos or riding a bicycle 3,000 miles across the country. Those are my kinds of risks…mostly slow and easy. Not much that I try will kill me.